"Lakini sasa, ntaketi aje square? Kiti ni ndogo."
"Hebu keti vizuri bure unalipia viti mbili." *viwili
That is how a plus size woman like me has to endure everyone if they do not have the body shape and size of a girl similar to Tegla Lourupe. Girls like Vera Sidika have a HUGE problem when they use PSVs thus they buy their own cars faster than most people would.
I so happen to be one of those women who are quite well-endowed. I have broad shoulders and wide hips and though my sister thinks I am perfect, I know for sure that I am not. Have you seen how crazily people look at me because of it? I freeze up and hide away.
This blog post is a reply to one I read from a blogger who's friends with a friend of mine. He doesn't know I am a plus-size/chubby/obese girl. I sound better than I look.
Anyway, here's the breakdown of how I really feel. ENJOY!
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At "Being Girly", I intend to irritate, imitate, amuse and sometimes, if i can do it, be as sacarstic as I can.
Sacarsm is a course, sass is an art.You don't just get them, you work to be them.
So, here are the scenarios I have faced so far.
1.) Too heavy to lift
You're watching telly, watching a totally cute couple hug it out, then the guy lifts her up and her face is nothing but bliss. You look at her and wrinkle your nose in anger and dislike. "Why does she have to be so small?! She will take all the mens for herself!"
When I was younger, i always wanted the man I would marry to sweep me off my feet. I kind of had this HUGE crush on this asian guy who had GREY eyes and i wanted the two of us to get married. I was 7 years old then.
Fast forward to 15 years later and I am wondering where my "Johnnie" is. I am probably four times the weight i was back in the day, and yeah, do not get me started on how depressing it is to see all your skinny friends have boyfriends while no one even spares you a look.
If i passed out right now, it would take a village to carry me.
Just saying.
If i don't lose this weight. my husband will not carry me across the threshold. *freaking out* where are my fairy God parents?
Chic, please be grateful you are 45kgs. Some of us are so much more and guys can not even hug us the way they would hug you.
You'll miss being thin when you gain all the weight after maternity. You have been warned.
2.) Matatu conductors bully you
I won't lie to you.
I probably do not get that bullied because I dress up quite decently, and maybe because I look pretty young for my size.
However, there are times people have gotten off the matatu before their destination because my hips have hurt them too much. I press them to the wall and the person kind of just decides to leave me alone.
Then I also have wide shoulders.
Double Trouble everyone, double trouble.
If you are a small chic, you can be carried by someone else. Even your boyfriend. Plus there is a chance that you can get the window seat. :-)
So stop complaining and be happy!
3.) Everyone assumes you're a glutton
This has got to be the most important scenario. Back in 1st year, my roomie and I used to buy two chapos. we'd each have one if there was rice for supper. However, when we had nothing but stew, we bought 3. We'd split the third chapati between the two of us.
So, one day, my roomie sent me to buy her and I some chapos. I got to the food kiosk, (we called them Zion Mall but they were not Zion Mall). Anyway, I meet both my best friends there and they ask me why I ma buying only two chapatis. I told them I am buying for my roomie and I.
They were like, "hio inakuanga snack!"
To tell you the truth, I eat a third of what my friends eat. They get frustrated and force me to eat. It is never a pretty sight.
My bff wonders why I am still fat if i eat even less than her.
Skinny people are lucky. At least when they go buy food, no one looks at them like they are gluttons or piglets. They even get extra. I'd die if those were bhajias you were getting dear! I would kill you! MYSELF!
Thank God you are skinny and people keep giving you food so that you can get some meat on your bones. You do not know what I would give to have that skinny body even for an hour.
4.)You always have to look twice as hard to find a good piece of clothing.
Going second-hand shopping might or might not be so easy.
It might be easy when you find all the pretty clothes that fit on the first day. It might not be easy if all the pretty clothes don't fit you.
When i used to go shopping with my friends, they always went back with something. I on the other hand... got myself a pair of earrings from a shop somewhere because i couldn't find something that fitted.
I got problems fitting into trousers because all of them are designed for women with much smaller thighs. I have always had big thighs. They never get any smaller when the weight drops. My mum tells me that those thighs gotta go, but honestly, i have been that way since i was a kid.
5.) Your Old Clothes Don't fit.
Every sensible Kenyan mum buys kids clothes they can wear for several years.
My mum did so when she was bringing me up. However, the clothes she got me four years ago do NOT fit.
My sister on the other hand just slithers into the clothes and they fit.
I AM SO FREAKING JEALOUS!
6.) You Are Always on the Defensive.
I tell you, it is true, even i admit to this. Anytime someone used to tell me i was fat, i used to insist i have beeg bonez.
Big bones are probably the best excuse if you are a Luhya or Luo. For Kikuyus, they can well say that their family looks like that. If their family is not attacking them.
I know for a fact that some ladies gain weight when they take oral FP pills. However, for those of us who have steadily been gaining weight, you will always disagree with people when it comes to your diet. I know for a fact that i disagree with people because my diet is what your nutritionist will give you when you join a gym. Then again, maybe that will be the diet you will take up when you decide you want to lose weight.
BREAKFAST: 1 cup of tea + a slice of bread
TEA BREAK: water, or nothing really. Sometimes there is a smokie, or a packet of gingernut biscuits. (they are usually 3 in a packet.)
LUNCH: water, and a snack like biscuits. On proper lunches, i eat mess food. We both know how disgusting it can be sometimes.
TEA BREAK: nothing. Of recent, maybe some tea. Tiny cup of it. Or strong tea.
SUPPER: ugali and something. My ugali is smaller than what i ate in boarding school. It is actually half of it, with lots of veggies. Sometimes i don't eat. :-)
Look at that diet... then tell me if i have a right to be on defense mode
I know some people eat bunny food. I tried that and i had to tolerate heartburn. I have a fussy tummy. Eh!
7.) No Love Life
Guys want a woman who is tiny. I know that for a fact.
The kind of big woman they want is the Vera Sidika type: Big bust, big backside, tiny waist...
Meaning, if you aren't small bodied, and don't look even a little bit like Vera, then you are out of the running to someone's heart.
I know what i am talking about, so if you are angry at me for pointing this out, just take it out on me in the comment box below. Honestly, i am so sick and tired of people telling me they don't like me "that way" because i am not small.
I was never a 36-24-36. I never was. I guess i can say i am big for my age. Thanks to that, i am probably going to be attending other people's weddings instead of my own. I will gladly go dance too. I know for a fact that these weddings are ideal places to dance because on that day, no one will judge you. Especially if you are a goody-two shoes like me.
*&*&*&*&
I don't hate small people. I just hate how people adore small people. It is like seeing a brown person and terming them beautiful without a doubt.
My dear, beauty is from within. Glowing eyes, lovely spirit, charming personality, and most importantly, God-fearing.
This is me talking, not the chubby girl. Everyone is different. Their differences make this world beautiful. If you watched the Kenyan Crown Paint advert, you will understand why i say that differences make the world beautiful. For those who haven't, let me explain my theory to you. Imagine if the world was all just white ice... or just mountainous... or just all desert... or just sea. The first time we would have been to it, we'd be like, "It is beautiful." However, after staying and moving and seeing the same place, it becomes drab and boring.
If you can't relate to that, here's my third and final example. Have you ever travelled through a desert-ish place? All you saw was dry soil, sand maybe, a few dead plants... and that was it, right? Your eyes probably grew tired and you fell asleep at some point, yeah? When you see something that does not change for a long time, you kind of get tired of it. You even become disturbed. Not physically, mentally. I know that because when travelling to Mombasa, when you get to the Yatta Plateau, you ought to close your eyes and sleep till you get to Voi. There are elephants somewhere near there, and hills that look... interesting at Voi, which will definitely catch your attention after the drab drab drab entirety of your travel.
I have to go. I hope you understand what i am pointing out, yeah?
Have a lovely time.
Good night/Good morning/Good day
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