Lesson 9: "Its Complicated"

Personally, I have never liked that tag.

I think it is stupid.

And the worst thing about it is... I have used it too.

Till I realised it was really stupid and decided to incorporate "situationship" instead.

For some reason, anytime I hear "situationship" i just start laughing. I told you i tickle quite easy. Literally. Okay, don't think of trying to tickle me now because I will bite off your fingers.

~*~*~*~*

The other day, i went to this scenic place called Kolol Lodge... and it was beautiful! I loved it! It was a retreat with the new class of first year EVH students.

While there, I was walking by with this guy who... well... he kind of has a crush on me and I kind of like him because he is so freaking adorable! He kept teasing me and I started to run around... a little bit. Then we got to the Two River Project and watched the river flow over and people got to the dam and took photos like crazy.

I was freaking out though. I have a fear for heights.

Then I went down and decided to feel the water on my feet. I am a Pisces you know. We love water. The stones were really slippery and maybe... slimy. However, I was not irked. From Water Supply, we were taught that the slime helps a lot.

So long as I don't see it, we are good.

Anyway, this other guy who is pretty attractive and he has a smouldering stare (and you guessed right, he likes me too!) came up and passed by without as much as a word. He was helping some girls cross the slimy rocks quite happily... and they were all smaller than me in size. It really irked me.

Him and my muslim brothers just ignored me like I wasn't even there.

Not complaining. It kind of just happens a lot anyways. I got used to it...

So we went down the trail, then up it to the lodge itself. The EHSAMU  chair smiled and told me to come up with games. I didn't have to, though. One of the 1st years was an immense help to all of us, and his energy helped make us all quite content to play with him.

And everyone else, of course!

Then we had a sit-down session where we were to introduce ourselves. We would say which county we were from and stuff about ourselves, including marital status.

So, this guy with the smouldering stare had his turn before me and he said he had a kid.

He has been talking to me since March and he has never told me he had a baby! Or that he had a baby momma. Or that he was in a relationship!

I was so upset, I got up and walked away from the circle to my sister. When I called her, I didn't tell her why I did. Luckily for me, they were too busy looking for me, my sister and my dad, and I just said everything was okay and i was safe and sound.

I didn't want to talk to him after what he said. Hearing my sister's voice. though, made me stronger and I went ahead to shyly introduce myself. I did not get to the marital status though... one of my mates saved me the trouble.

~*~*~*~*

smoulder eyes pissed me off so much that anytime I hear the songs he sent me through Whatsapp I kind of just change them.

Problem is, I love them too much to get rid of them entirely.

When I go for EHSAMU meetings, I kind of act like I do not know a single thing happened. I just try my hardest not to look at him.

Works like a charm. *scoffs*

I can honestly tell you though that this one has not earned the complicated tag.

It is not at all.

1st: he never asked me out.

2nd: he is not remotely serious about me.

3rd: he never told me anything. That is like lying to me. SHUSH! I know what I said.

4th: he probably will never man up

5th: now you know why it is clearly not "complicated".

A simple man makes simple decisions. His actions speak louder than words.

If he is not telling you everything, sorry girlie, he does not want you in his life. That is the simple truth. Especially if he does not apologise for hurting you.

I really don't wanna say anymore.

You know how it goes anyway.

~*~*~*~*

On a MUCH lighter note, i talked to Chimano the OTHER day and he callled me "love".

I melted.

Plus I put up a "do not disturb' sign over my melted body cum puddle and screamed... Holy molly, i love guys who call me 'love'.

It just makes me go 'yori yori'.

Talking about 'yori yori' and puddles, i saw Avan Jogia and almost died... in Jo's dream... #Twisted how can a guy be so hot without trying? He wakes up in the morning and he looks better than I do... HOW?!

All these feels... AVAN JOGIA, where art thou?!

Oh these hormones that make up 90% of my body... (SMH)

~*~*~*~*

Have a girly day!
~Me

Lesson 8: And All Girls Are Mean...

one day,
i'll be,
living in a big old city
and all you're 
ever gonna be is mean
yeah,
one day
i'll be,
big enough so you can't hit me
and all you're ever gonna be is mean
why you gotta be so mean.

Hello everyone!

I am the kind of girl who can be whatever I wanna be without fail. If I wanna.

Uhh, that did not make much sense, did it?

Anyway, today, i decided to talk about snarky girls, with a side-dish on how much they can hate you.

~*~*~*~*

When I was younger, I was always on the sidelines. I never knew why then. Anytime the girls wanted to gossip, I was always pushed out of the circle, literally.

I never knew why then, but I have a few reasons now.

I was always alone so much that if a vampire wanted to attack me, they'd probably start with me. Then again, in a twisted world, they'd probably start with the girls in front of me.

I know, I know. Wicked me. Yipee!

When people were all lovey-dovey at 16, I was all, "when I am FRIGGING getting out of this hell hole called school? I can't wait to leave and go live my life!"

Well, I guess everyone thinks that way.

At 16, I was still thinking of how to find a way to turn my wrap skirt into a pair of  shorts so that I can climb a tree without exposing you know what.

Been a little bit of a tom-boy.

I am sure you are wondering about why I think I know why people pushed me out of their discussions about guys and the lot during my teenage years. (They still do by the way.)

SCENARIO A-> I was too innocent to be corrupted.
SCENARIO B-> I was too blonde to understand ANYTHING they would say
SCENARIO C-> I was muslim. Still am.
SCENARIO D->: I was too busy being upset minded.
SCENARIO E-> I wasn't popular
SCENARIO F-> I was too freaking cool and awesome to fit in with them. If anything, they should be the ones to fit in with me!

I like the last option better. Sadly, that was not the story of my life.

One of my friends rightly quoted, that "a girl is 99% hormones." I can't say I am that much hormones, but I'm pretty damn sure he'd not take that as my answer.

It's right. Well, kind of.

There are girls who, it seems, were born specifically for the purpose of hating you. #HatersGonnaHateNiallsGonnaPotate

So, you look at them and you;re like, "chic, really, that's the lowest you have sunk?"

And she's like, "I will show you how much lower I have sunk."

I hate haters! I won't pretend about that. Then again, at some point in my life, I have been one. I have hated and dissed girls who right now are flying so high... Like when Miley was busy swingin on a wrecking ball naked and I am like, "Oh my God, Astaghfirrulah she is naked!" while in actual sense I was thinking that "I wish I had that tummy! Its is so flat! Like a chapati!"

That is why we are ordered by the Qura'n to cast our gaze down and have 'haya'.

I won't lie to you. I have survived this long by being a stare-down. I stare almost every person down. My mum once told me I am rude, but I have to. What if this person is gonna kill you and you are humbly bowing your head so she can chop it off and put it up for display?

I am SO not doing that!

~*~*~*~*
I am mean.

I have accepted it.

But some girls are so much meaner, they give mean a new definition. They take it to the other side and leave it on a whole new level.

I met this girl, her name is Tara* (name changed for security purposes). This girl was introduced to me by a mutual friend back in the day.

Anytime the mutual friend was around, Tara played nice.

However, whenever the friend left, she would become the meanie witch she really was.

I was scared of her. I was afraid for my life. She could kill you if she wanted and say that she found you that way.

Okay, maybe i went too far saying that but... you get the picture.

So, one day, I decided to overcome my fear and be nice to her. I went ahead to say hello and be nice but she blatantly ignored me. Like I wasn't there. I thought that maybe I was too soft.

The second time I tried, she ignored me again. I told my sister. She told me that my voice was too soft for her to proobably hear. I thought, "maybe that, but she is probably ignoring me.":

The next time i tried, and my sister was there, she threw me a withering look and kept going. My sister was so shocked, she froze to death.

LOL, God forbid death! Subhanallah!

What I meant to say was that, things just died out after that. I stopped trying.

What do you think? Is she too pissed off, or is she mean?

However, that is not the whole story.

So, this one time, I was busy having fun when I met friends of hers. We had some fun hanging out with them; me, her and our mutual friend. Her friends enjoyed hanging out so much with me, they asked for my number much later when we next met.

Tara found out and went to spread propaganda against me. As i type this out today, none of her friends looks at me the same. She told them that I am mean and I am out to be friends for the perks they come with.

You be the judge and tell me what you think.

My twitter is @Ynabeesa

~*~*~*~*

On a lighter note, the boys, (sautisol) got picked for the MTVEMA nominations after securing the final slot over Tiwa Savage.

I know I know, Bienaime Baraza loves her. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I voted like crazy, me and Kenyans on Twitter. (#KOT) And lets not forget the #TeamSautisol family!

Alhamdlilah!

Now, I have to go vote again. Lost count. Its probably past 500 votes now. Not to worry, I am gonna do my best to make sure Davido gets a run for his money!

Sautisol over Mafikozolo, Sardokie and Towa Savage... hmm...!

I love it!!!!!!

~*~*~*~*

Have a girly, meanness- free weekend!
~Girly me, xoxo