Hello, and welcome back to "Being Girly" my beautiful blog that seeks to highlight the story of my life under the girl title.
Oh yaay, we are on 17! I love number 7, it so happens to be my favourite number! And 17 was my best age yet after 16. I was a fourthformer and i went out for a number of school-related events. 17 was the coolest year ever for me. Jeez!
Anyway, today we will be talking about Regrets. Yes, Regrets. I am sure you think that this will be about something to do with sex because my previous post was about that... and this one, unfortunately, isn't. Well, maybe it might touch on that. Or maybe not.
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Regret is a feeling we normally get when we do something and we or someone gets hurt. It also means we have a conscience, and feel bad about the fruits of our actions if they hurt us or other people.
Recently, a friend of mine bought something even after i told her not to. It was a pretty dress that looked so good. Red in colour and alluring. Well, it was until i noticed that the material it was made of was not exactly good for hand-washing. i pointed this out and she told me that i was being mean because i am bigger than her and the dress fitted her PERFFF! As you might already know, or not, she bought the dress and wore it to an event. Then she washed it afterwards and not only did it tear... It bled.
Now all her whites are pink. And so cute and cuddly...
This is just so wrong! Like really. The story was a fabrication but still... you get what i am aiming at. Sometimes we do things that leave us in the path of regret when it's waters coming flooding down at us. So, what can we do? What can we do so that we don't end up crying and wishing we had listened, taken heed and acted right?
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On a daily basis, we are forced to make decisions. Sometimes, we have had to ditch someone for someone/something better. Then we ended up wishing we hadn't. I remember that i once ditched a guy for another who i had the longest crush on. As you probably already can guess, I got dumped and i dumped him... repeatedly. If he wasn't committed the first time, then the next he was too quiet and distant, and eventually, I regretted ditching the guy who had been crazy about me. Even though he offered to take me back, i felt ashamed and could not go ahead to say 'yes'.
That has not been my only regret. I have had regrets in my academic career too. Recently, I quit a class page because i felt like the girls were too mean. They said quite a few meanies to me. Then they wanted to add another mean girl and I couldn't take it. So i left the whatsapp group and i have slept very well since.
I worked to go back to a day school in order to resit my KCSE papers and managed to get a grade that got me to spend 4 years in undergrad with 70+ crazy students. Most of them had actually wanted to be doctors but ended up doing Environmental Health. We graduated recently and no one actually wanted to take a photo with me. That made me wish I had been more friendly during my undergrad. The sea of regret sent me to the ocean of depression, and though i finally got out of it, I was scarred.
I'm just glad my dad and i took photos together though.
Back to the tale at hand... Regret is a powerful emotion. It can make you feel like you never were good enough. It can make you hate yourself. It can make you hate everyone. It can even lead you to commit suicide. It never comes alone... it accompanies anger, hate, disbelief, resentment and irritability. Yes, there have been cases of girls who have made the wrong choices in life, and when things blow up, it is easy to throw in the towel.
You have a beautiful life. It is yours, it is unique. Those decisions you made might have had negative outcomes that blew up in your face, but that doesn't mean you are stupid. Yes, they didn't help, they messed you up, but you made them. They are yours, and you should be proud of yourself because some people do not know how to take the risks you took.
I salute you. I salute you. I celebrate you.
Remember to own your decisions, because you are you. No one else thinks like you do. And if they do, then that is just a little deviation on their part.
Yeah?
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On the flip side of the whole thing, i harbour no resentment whatsoever on not ending up on anyone's pictures. The reason being, ten or so years down the line, I'll hopefully be so incredibly famous that people will line up from Kisumu to Mombasa for an autograph or selfie. Then I'll be smiling in the mirror and saying, "who would have thought that losers can become winners?"
Plus I got to appreciate Scottish Dancing and saw that Moi University actually has Student Security. Oh wow, who would have thought they were actually not confined to just movies?
A final plus is, I go to the gym these days and the guys there are FIT. They go for aerobics and move their bulky bodies faster than I do. They are an inspiration. Really. I don't go there to bag a hunk. I don't really see the point of going to the gym to bag a stud. I'll probably explain that later.
Anyway, have a lovely afternoon (it is afternoon here) guys.
Hasta la Vista.
Have a good life mista.
