This is not a Taylor Swift song, but it references one.
It has been a crazy year so far. I am even afraid that this might be the end... But I do know that God has a huge plan for us and so I stay steady in that lane.
The past few months after my last post have made me settle more into roles I previously wasn't too comfortable about. Like how I was a student ambassador who was too worried about how everyone would look at me.
Or how much weight I gained post undergrad and how unattractive the guys I liked might find me.
Or how much I underestimate my abilities, or overestimate everyone else's.
There is a reason I am an INFP-T anyway... Right? That self doubt at the back of my mind, being too harsh on myself, but unusually lax to other people sometimes...
The struggle is real guys.
Yet, somehow, I found beauty in a strange way. I have come to terms with the fact that making an attempt at anything is a big deal, especially if it something I am not open to doing.
That doesn't mean I am going to conquer my fear of heights in China.
With self understanding, I can start to appreciate myself more. I am always ready to learn new things, and with this new outlook, I am loving it more and more. Last year, I started crocheting and now I do it often. I decided to try and learn something new and it was fun.
Unfortunately, any time I spend money on other things, I wonder how many balls of yarn I would have bought with the equivalent of what I spent.
Hmmm...
This is an exciting journey that I can't press 'pause' on yet. I hope to work harder and better, and this might even inform my future decisions.
I can't wait to live a whole new life in the middle of this pandemic.
Don't give up guys. Let us grow together. PS: I am also very confused and have lotsa things to do 😂
I'll be on my way.
Kind regards,
Me.
