Lesson 20: Of Breakups and Listening To Breakup Playlists

2017 is here. Yay.

Note the sarcasm.

I started 2017in the worst way: a friend of mine broke up with me for being too nice, then i found myself staring at a possible problem of delaying the end of my internship, joblessness, confusion, exhaustion and irritability.

Then, before January even got to the middle, i got injured in the worst way. I discovered that the guy who i thought was always in love with me had never ever ever been in love with me, and it hurt. I was upset for days, staring at everything darkly, angrily and wanting to do nothing more than to head back to my house and cry the entire day through. And i hate to cry. I really do. I can't see how that helps me, but that day when i broke down, it did help. 

Even then, what helped the best? Breakup playlists and mean girl updates on my Facebook account. I had to get it out somehow. 

So i traded Ex's and Oh's for Shout Out to My Ex. 

The results were amazing.

Even then, sometimes when i am sad about him i can't hide behind kickass beats and happy fake music videos in my head. 


Even Worse;
is the decision i made last Valentines when Sautisol asked me to attend their very first performance for "Live And Die in Afrika."

When people ask me why i turned them down, and i explain, they mostly think I am stupid. Sometimes, when i am so frigging sad, I think I am a little silly too. Then i remind myself that I do not want to be like the girl in the "Money Lover" video. 

I wouldn't live with myself if i did that to myself. 

So, in overall, I am a little depressed at the lack of happy memories in my life. On the positive though, I have just one really amazing memory... Visiting Kitale Conservancy with a colleague from work. It was amazing. 

I also have this kickass memory of me going swimming with a friend of mine. We had the bestest sleepovers and sometimes, I spent the night texting on her phone just for the fun of it. I know... I am a very nosy person sometimes, but that's what friends do all the time. 

So my breakup playlist included;
Wonderland by Taylor Swift
We are never getting back together by Taylor Swift
Sober by Selena Gomez
Shout Out to My Ex by Little Mix
Ex's and Oh's by Elle King
Drag Me Down by One Direction
Unhinged by Nick Jonas


What does your breakup playlist have?